Skip to main content

How to Feel Better When You are Feeling Down








1) Accept the negative feelings.

The key to this is not to deny what we are feeling, but rather to lean into our feelings, even if they are painful. Take a moment to be mindful and narrate: "I'm feeling anxious right now," or, "This situation is making me tense." Hang in there with unpleasant feelings at least long enough to acknowledge them.

This is the gist of emotion coaching kids: We help them label what they are feeling, and we validate that their feelings are okay. With younger kids, the challenge is helping them understand that while bad feelings are always all right, bad behavior never is. Be crystal clear about this. For example, it is totally okay that your child is feeling jealous and hateful toward her sister. At the same time, it is never okay to hit her.

2) Problem solve.
What did you learn from that embarrassing situation? What can you do to improve a difficult situation tomorrow? Who else can help? Who do you need to forgive before you'll feel better? Put a plan into place.
3) Let goMove onTry to feel better.
This means that we make a genuine effort to cultivate happiness, gratitude, hope or any other positive emotion; researchers call this "deep acting."
Faking a smile or other pleasantries to cover our negative emotions (what researchers call "surface acting") without actually trying to change our underlying negative emotions will often make us feel worse rather than better. But when we genuinely try to feel more positive -- when we do try to change our underlying feelings -- we usually end up feeling fewer negative emotions and more positive emotions.
Most often, moving on means of distracting ourselves or our children from the situation. We need to leave the scene of the crime, so to speak. In my next post, I'm going to give you a nice long list of techniques that my kids and I use to keep ourselves from overthinking difficult situations and to move on when we want to feel better.
What negative situations do you find yourself overthinking? Do you notice your children ruminating about certain situations?

© 2011 Christine Carter, Ph.D.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

L.A. will rename Rodeo Road as Obama Boulevard in tribute to former president

The Los Angeles City Council voted to rename Rodeo Road as Obama Boulevard in honor of former President Obama, Mayor Eric Garcetti announced in a tweet Tuesday night. “We’re thrilled that Angelenos and visitors will forever be reminded of the legacy of President @BarackObama when traveling across L.A.,” he said in the tweet. City Council President Herb Wesson  proposed the name change in June 2017. Los Angeles is renaming Rodeo Rd. to Obama Boulevard in honor of former president Barack Obama. pic.twitter.com/UwzXxU6tHA — AJ+ (@ajplus) August 29, 2018 Not to be confused with the upscale Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills, Rodeo Road is a 3.5-mile street that runs from near the Culver City border east to Mid-City. In his proposal, Wesson  noted that  Obama held a campaign rally at Rancho Cienega Park on Rodeo Road when running for president and that the area already has streets named after presidents, such as George Washington and Thomas Jefferson. It’s offic...

FLIGHT FACILITIES (Hugo) b2b TOUCH SENSITIVE in The Lab

#Deep_house #HouseMusic #HouseGrooves #Melodic #Electronic #djset #FlightFacilities #TouchSensitive An immaculate selection of disco and killer house grooves by Hugo (Flight Facilities) and Touch Sensitive. website: http://www.flightfacilities.com Youtube http://smarturl.it/SubscribeFF Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/flightfacilities Twitter: http://twitter.com/flightfac Soundcloud: http://soundcloud.com/flightfacilities Instagram: http://instagram.com/flightfac

Nordstrom selling taped-up sneakers for $530

It may be a shoe that shoe lovers have a hard time adding to their collection. Nordstrom is selling the Golden Goose sneakers dubbed the "Superstar Taped Sneaker."  They are new, but look like they are falling apart with dirt and tape already on them. And they are being sold for $530!  "Crumply, hold-it-all-together tape details a distressed leather sneaker in a retro low profile with a signature sidewall star and a grungy rubber cupsole," the description reads. If you were interested in purchasing them (were you?), they are sold out on the  Nordstrom website . abc7.com  - September 21st, 2018